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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27149515">Send Off</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristiest/pseuds/kristiest'>kristiest</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>TsukiHina Short AU/s [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Brazil, M/M, Pining, TsukiHina, Unsaid words, but he doesnt do jackshit about it, domestic tsukihina, no mutual understanding, the Big Sad, the both of them are very sad, tsukishima doesnt want hinata to go, tsukishima loves hinata very mich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:26:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,232</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27149515</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristiest/pseuds/kristiest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The thoughts and feelings that are  left unspoken of. Between them, it was their biggest flaw. But even when they had such a flaw, they loved each other so much. So much that it hurt.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>TsukiHina Short AU/s [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912936</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Send Off</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>it's a long ride 🤩 get ur tissues (?)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Hey, what are you doing?” Hinata heard as he jumped up and spiked a ball towards a wall. Hinata lands on the floor, bending down to take a breath in before looking over his shoulder to find his boyfriend, Tsukishima, who was on the door frame with his arms crossed. His brows were furrowed, eyes expectant and thin lips tugged back. Hinata knows he’s in trouble. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata walks to the wall to pick the ball up, he puts it inside his arms and cradles it there. “Sorry… did I wake you?” He walks towards the seemingly grumpy blonde, looking down on the floor as he makes his way. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t sleep.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima sighs, watching his boyfriend drag their feet. He wasn’t sleeping, he couldn’t fall asleep on such a night. When Hinata was in front of him, Tsukishima took the ball from him and threw it to the side. He opens his arms, “Get in here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata doesn’t even take a second to think about it, he hugs his boyfriend the moment they open their arms. “Are you okay? Having any second thoughts?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Please have second thoughts. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Hinata doesn’t answer, just nuzzling his face into the crook of Tsukishima’s neck even further. If only that was possible. He huffs into cold skin, intertwining his fingers behind Tsukishima’s back. Tsukishima inhales sharply, “Hey?”, he only feels Hinata’s hug tighten around him. A frown finds its way around Tsukishima’s lips, he hated seeing Hinata like this. Quiet, unexpressive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> He wasn’t used to this kind of Hinata, silent and unvocal. He absolutely hated seeing Hinata like this. It made worry bloom and settle into his heart, chest getting heavier with each second that passed. The uneasiness, the anxiety and the loud desire that settled in, the desire of asking Hinata to stay, Tsukishima didn’t want any of it-it made him want to be selfish. Selfish with Hinata. But that’s something he can’t be. Especially when he knows how important volleyball is to his boyfriend. He doesn't want to be the person to stop him from his dreams and proving his capabilities to the world. Hinata can’t be in one place for long, Tsukishima knows that best. Hinata always, </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span>… has to show the world who he is and what he can do. It’s just never enough for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By default, Tsukishima leans his chin on the top of Hinata’s mess of orange curls. “Hey, it’s going to be alright.” He says as he rubs the shorter one’s back, it was a sad attempt to soothe them. He didn’t understand why Hinata was like this, hesitant and reluctant to share his emotions. It’s not like it’s his first time going to Brazil. If anything, Tsukishima expected Hinata to be all jumpy and excited because Tsukishima just </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> he loves Brazil ever so much. He also didn’t understand why it felt like it was going to be the last time he’s ever going to hold Hinata in his arms, tightly, like this. It wasn’t, obviously, he knew that. The next time he’s going to be able to hold Hinata like this in maybe… three years? If they’re still together by then. It’s a stretch but he’s hopeful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has every right to be dubious right now. He doesn’t know what it feels like to have your lover on the other side of the world. He’s unaware of the struggles they’re going to have to face, when the time comes. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Hinata, it’s just the fear of it all. The sudden unfamiliarity that’s going to hit him; waking up every morning and not having anyone to wake him up with kisses, having breakfast, lunch and dinner alone, going to bed and seeing the other side, where Hinata’s supposed to be, empty. It was ridiculous, especially for Tsukishima Kei. He loves Hinata too much to just let him go like this. But because of that love, he’s going to do exactly that; let go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re being weird.” Tsukishima hears Hinata whisper into his neck. His voice is soft and quiet, tight and somewhat unsettling. He moves his head to Tsukishima’s shoulder, leaning his temple on it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima could only scoff, looking down and meeting Hinata’s creecent eyes. “Me, weird? Excuse me, but it’s you who’s being weird.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You hugged me first. That almost never happens.” Hinata points out, and he says it with a bitter smile. His eyes closed and nuzzled his face closer, taking in his favorite scent in the world. The natural smell of his boyfriend, the soap they used and the fabric conditioner in their clothes. It’s that specific thing that sends tranquility through his veins, it’s what calms him, it’s what makes him want to stay like this forever. “... is there anything you want to say to me?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Come on. Tell me. Tell me not to go, if you tell me to stay; I will. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His words trail off, getting quieter in volume as each word rolled off his tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima shook his head, brushing Hinata’s hair back with his fingers. “Like what?” He kisses their forehead slowly, it’s a lingering kiss. “I love you, is that what you want to hear?”</span>
</p><p><em><span>No</span></em><span>, Hinata chuckles once Tsukishima closes his lips.</span> <span>“You know it…” He paused, standing properly but not letting go of the hug. “I love you too.”</span></p><p>
  <span>Their eyes meet yet again and they look at each other with so much longing, with so much love and growing regret. The words that remain unsaid, they're slowly piling up inside each other’s chests. Things they haven't done, and moments that weren't just enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima takes Hinata’s hand, bringing it to his cheek to lean on it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t go. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“We should head in, it’s getting cold.” Hinata nods, agreeing with his boyfriend. They get off each other and walk in their shared flat, hand in hand. They go to their bedroom and lie down, only to hug each other again. Hinata wraps his arms around Tsukishima’s waist, resting his head on their chest and letting out a long sigh. He stares outside the window, minding the sky that was slowly turning into a light shade of blue. “When  will you get ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata glances at the digital clock, “In an hour or so.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you meeting with anyone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The team, they’re going to see me off.” Hinata mutters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima adds, “Yamaguchi and Yachi, too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Kageyama.” Hinata adds again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should we just call all of your friends?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata chuckled softly, “That’d be nice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima’s fingers slip into Hinata’s soft curls. “... when will I see you again?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata kisses his boyfriend's neck, “When you visit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How often should I visit?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Once.” Hinata smiles into Tsukishima's skin. “Once every week.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should I just go with you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... You should.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If only it was possible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata doesn't answer anymore, and Tsukishima just assumes that they’ve fallen asleep. The blonde sighed tiredly, covering his eyes to protect them from the sun that was rising and rudely seeping through the lace curtains. He really needs to change those. He covers Hinata’s eyes as well, before drifting off as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And as he did, he so desperately prayed that Hinata would wake up late so that he’d miss his flight. He’d miss his flight and not go anymore. Tsukishima </span>
  <em>
    <span>prayed</span>
  </em>
  <span> that Hinata would wake up, realize that it was noon and just let it go. He prayed that Hinata would say something like “Maybe it’s a sign that I should stay in the MSBY Black Jackals.” and just completely forget about ever going to Brazil. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata wasn't one who was superstitious but for </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Tsukishima prayed that his boyfriend would believe something like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima even once thought about messing their time up so that it wouldn't be able to wake Hinata up. But of course, Tsukishima’s not that kind of person. He would never do anything of the sort. He’ll just think of it, and forget. Maybe sulk about it for a little, but later on his rationality takes over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His loyalty towards his boyfriend would never allow him to do anything like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you really have to go?” Tsukishima asked, taking Hinata’s hand into his own and looking down. The two stood by the airport entrance, frowning at each other. Tsukishima’s eyes showed longing, Hinata’s showed reluctance. The blonde pulled Hinata’s hand to his lips, kissing them softly, “Please, don’t go…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Really?” Hinata scoffed wistfully, “We’re having this discussion now? When we’re literally here, in the airport.” Hinata’s voice was unstable. In them, it was evident that he didn’t want to have this conversation. Not here, when he could break down in front of many. Not now, when he’s trying to catch his flight back to Brazil. “You had all the time to talk me out of this. Why now?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why not?” Tsukishima closes his eyes, exhaling through his nose deeply. He swallowed dryly and moved Hinata’s hand to his cheek, leaning into the touch, savouring it, taking it in and appreciating it while he could. “I didn’t want to sound selfish then, but I don’t care now.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know volleyball means everything to you. And who am I, to keep you from what you want in life?” Tsukishima opens his eyes slowly, kissing Hinata’s hand one last time before letting it go. The ginger’s hand drops to their side. “Stopping you from going on this trip would be incredibly selfish of me and that is something I don’t want to be.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Kei, what are you talking about?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t want to be the one who stops you from achieving your goals.” Tsukishima averts his gaze. “But standing here with you, and realizing that you won’t be here tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow and the month that follows. I don’t know if I can handle that.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Kei, we’ll call every day if you want.” Hinata cups his boyfriend’s cheeks, giving them a pained smile. “Please don’t be like this.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Please don’t go.” Tsukishima repeats, his lips begin to quiver. “Please, Shouyou. Don’t leave.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he wakes up, maybe two hours later, he hears Hinata pulling his suitcases to the front door. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What an awful dream. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tsukishima jumps up, rubbing his eyes and checking the clock. Hinata has to leave soon. He clicks his tongue and curses, getting up and quickly washing his face in the bathroom. “Why didn't you wake me up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You looked so peaceful.” Hinata answered from the hall. “But you’re just in time. Should I make you some coffee?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t need it.” Tsukishima answered, shouting a little so that Hinata could hear them. He brushes his teeth and after, he changes into thick clothing. It was cold so he bundled up, wearing a trench coat and even a sweater underneath. He grabs the car keys from the vanity, rushing to the garage to help Hinata put his luggage in. “You should've woken me up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You looked really tired.” Hinata said plainly, not looking Tsukishima in the eye. “I’m fine, are you hungry? Maybe you should grab a snack first, there’s still time-” His voice is really brittle, it’s shaky and unstable, obviously on the verge of crying. He looks away and covers his mouth, closing his eyes as he tries to compose himself but Tsukishima takes his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Baby.” He said, as calmly as he can but it came out wobbly. He pulls Hinata into a hug, a tight one, almost suffocating but Hinata doesn't mind. “What’s wrong? Does anything hurt? Are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata could only sob, holding onto Tsukishima's arms and gripping on them. He couldn't speak, his throat didn't let him. He felt his jaw lock closed as he tried to gasp but it just hurt. He cried, completely dampening Tsukishima's sweater. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now this, this is the sight Tsukishima hates with his whole entirety. Hinata’s wails rang in his ears and he squeezed his eyes closed, resting his cheek on Hinata’s head. “It’s going to be okay, okay? Tell me what’s wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata shook his head, sobs continuing and only getting louder. Tsukishima pursed his lips, he didn't know what to say or what to do. This never happened before (seeing Hinata cry about something other than volleyball); the thought of Hinata alone makes him want to curl into a ball, what more if he’s experiencing it first hand? He’s never good with his emotions, neither is he good with handling others’. He never expected to see his boyfriend cry, ever, the boy’s such a bright little thing. Always happy and cheerful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what’s wrong.” Tsukishima repeated, rubbing Hinata’s back. “Tell me so I can help.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to go.” Tsukishima freezes. “Don’t let me go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouyou,” Tsukishima breathed, “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to.” Hinata croaks out, “I want to stay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Baby, you have to go.” Tsukishima pulls away, so that he could look Hinata in the eye. He cups their cheeks, thumbs gently wiping over Hinata’s under eyes. “You wanted this, right? Go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata lightly shakes his hands, sniffling and whimpering. He holds onto Tsukishima's wrists, closing his eyes. “I don’t want to be so far away from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have to go, Shouyou. You’ve been wanting this for so long and you’re finally given a chance. Don’t waste it. Go.” He hated this. He’s saying things he doesn't mean. He absolutely hates this. “If it’s the loneliness you’re worried about, I’ll call you everyday. Every morning and every night, if you want. Stop crying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata just shakes his head again. “Who’s going to take care of you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima scoffs, tittering as he pressed his forehead against the other’s. “You have no right to worry about me right now.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never eat unless I make you food. You’re too buried under your school work. You-you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouyou.” Tsukishima tilts Hinata’s chin, they’re looking at each other. Tears are still streaming down Hinata’s face, he looks ridiculously ugly. But it’s the face Tsukishima's grown to love, so he smiles, lightly pecking Hinata’s chapped lips. “Don’t worry about me. I’m an adult, I can take care of myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself.” Hinata’s voice cracks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What a shift. He was talking about not liking the distance, then he talks about his unnecessary worry for his boyfriend. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Suspicious, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tsukishima thought, but he doesn't say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop crying now.” Tsukishima orders as he nods, wiping Hinata’s tears with his sleeves. He checks his watch, “We should go.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... yeah…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get in, okay? I’ll get you some water then I’ll finish up here. Rest for a bit, you’re all red.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima kisses Hinata’s forehead. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm-hm.” Hinata swallows, breathing out and walking to the front passenger seat. He opens the door and climbs in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima goes inside their home to get a glass of water. When he’s in the sink, holding a cup and filling it with water- he wants to cry. He wants to sit and cry, but he can't. He knows he can't because between the two of them, it’s him who should be strong. It’s him who should be the mature one, the rational one, the one who never lets his emotions get to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Come what may, he’s always kept his feelings at bay. He’ll never let petty, selfish and insensitive thoughts take root. That’s him, Tsukishima Kei. The one who’s holding Hinata up when he can, but in all reality-it’s Hinata who’s keeping him steady.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The glass is full and he gets back with Hinata to give the cup to them. Hinata takes it quietly, then Tsukishima puts the rest of the luggage in the trunk before also getting in and starting the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ride to the airport is quiet. Hinata’s typing away on his phone, Tsukishima's eyes are locked on the road. They don’t exchange a word, or even a glance until they're there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata’s team and a few other close friends are waiting by the entrance. They all give Hinata a big, warm hug, it’s something Hinata wholeheartedly welcome and sink into.  “I’ll see you guys soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Don’t forget our souvenirs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll miss having you around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always sanitize.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shouyou, I’m gonna miss ya so bad!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When everyone’s done saying their goodbyes, Tsukishima escorts his boyfriend inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, we’re here.” Tsukishima hears and glances towards his side, where Hinata’s standing, one hand safe and sound inside Tsukishima’s own and the other’s holding onto the baggage cart that contained his luggage. Hinata faces Tsukishima, giving him a small smile. It’s like he wasn’t crying earlier. “Thanks for driving me, you didn’t have to walk me in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not, you know?” Tsukishima checks his wrist watch, they still have a little time. Time sort of  feels a little quicker. It’s just been like that lately. Tsukishima clears his throat, swaying his shoulders lightly and looking at Hinata.  “You sure you have everything? You can’t go back once you’re there. And if you come back, I’m not letting you go.” His voice is the usual monotone, but as he spoke he felt his throat itch. He meant those words, he didn’t want to let Hinata go. Even now. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Priorities,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thought bitterly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not number one. I can’t be.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata chuckles, face turning into a light shade of red. “Yes, I’m sure I have everything already.” His smile turns into a frown, “I’m going to miss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, save it.” Tsukishima raised his shoulders, grimacing as he looked around. “Don’t do that here, I don’t want to see you cry again.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>If you start, I’m going to drag you back home.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to cry! Again.” Hinata hits his boyfriend, the smile is back, but then he deflates. The boy looks down, clasping his hands together awkwardly.  “I’ll call you when I’m there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You better.” Tsukishima fixes Hinata’s hair, his hand slides to their cheek and they lean in to kiss Hinata’s lips for the last time in a long time. “I’ll be waiting for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm-hm,” Hinata returns the kiss before stepping back and holding onto the baggage cart, with both of his hands this time. “I’ll call you first, don’t you worry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... bye.” Tsukishima curls his lips, he’s not really giving his boyfriend a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye, I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you, too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata lets go of his cart again and hugs Tsukishima tightly. He hides his face into their chest, sighing into it and sniffling. Tsukishima wraps his arms around Hinata’s back firmly, he doesn’t want this hug to end. Hinata stays like that for a while, and Tsukishima’s placing gentle kisses on ginger hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to miss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Tsukishima pushes Hinata away, despite not wanting to. “Go, you’re going to miss your flight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... yeah. Okay.” Hinata sighs and punches Tsukishima’s shoulder lightly, “Wait for me, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tsukishima nods. “I will. Go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata nods as well, then he goes back to his cart and pushes it with him as he makes his way inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Come back.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Turn around.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Return to my arms.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hinata doesn’t do any of these, they just continue on walking. The blonde watches the latter until they disappear into the sea of strangers. Tsukishima looks down, shoving his hands into his pockets and turning around to go back to his car. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s really gone. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Once he’s inside, he sighs deeply and leans towards the wheel. This is when he cries.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hope u enjoy! i didnt.. proofread... so i apologize if there are any errors. have a lovely day!<br/>comments/feedback are appreciated 💓<br/>scream @ me <a href="https://mobile.twitter.com/krisstiest"> here! </a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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